🧑‍🍳 Cooking for Lazy Fucks

🤩 Celebrity Guest Post by A.M.!🤩 I hope you’ll enjoy their wonderful wisdom they were so kind to impart upon us all. 🗣️ Minimal Intro Chicken, sweet potatoes, veggies, and beans. This one takes a lot longer, but that’s because it’s meant to be done in a huge batch, then frozen. It makes at least 6 meals if you’re like 7 feet tall and probably a lot more (like, 12+) if you’re a regular mortal human. I tend to make this as well as the same thing but with shrimp instead of chicken and creamer potatoes instead of sweet potatoes, and that one 4 hour session of meal-prepping then lasts me most of the meals for an entire month. ...

🤩 Celebrity Guest Post by A.M.!🤩 I hope you’ll enjoy their wonderful wisdom they were so kind to impart upon us all. 🗣️ Minimal Intro Sort of Asian-tasting (ie soy sauce) rice noodles with poached eggs. Gluten-free Dairy-free ⏲️ Time to First Bite (15 mins) ~5 minutes to boil water ~5 minutes of cooking the noodles and eggs ~5 minutes of misc 🍳 Dishes Needed (3) 1 pot 1 strainer 1 Bowl And a fork to shove it all in your face 🍠 Ingredients (3) 🍜 Rice noodles (I use the Costco Lotus Foods rice ramen) 🥚 4ish eggs Soy sauce (I use the giant tub of soy sauce from amazon) Seasonings: Garlic powder Onion powder Ground cayenne pepper Dill weed (optional) 🥦 side of veggies so you get some fiber 🍲 Recipe Fill a medium-small pot halfway with water and boil it While you’re waiting for the water to boil, crack 1-5 eggs (I usually do 4) into the bowl you’re going to eat from. Once boiling, throw in the rice noodles. Let ’em cook for 2ish minutes Carefully dump the eggs into the pot. Let the eggs cook for another 2ish minutes. They’re done once you can move a fork around the water and the eggs have the whites cooked and it looks like the insides are just a little less cooked than you’d like Dump everything into a strainer in the sink Rinse out your bowl of the egg goo, then dump everything from the strainer into your bowl Make sure the eggs are slightly buried in the noodles. The heat will continue to cook the eggs Throw on some soy sauce and the four seasonings in whatever proportion you want If you want some veggies on the side, grab a bag of frozen veggies from Costco and heat some up in a bowl for 5 minutes. ...

🤩 Celebrity Guest Post by N.F.!🤩 I hope you’ll enjoy their wonderful wisdom they were so kind to impart upon us all. 🗣️ Minimal Intro The Poor man’s 2-bean casserole. ⏲️ Time to First Bite (35 mins) About 35 minutes. ~5 minutes of prep. ~30 minutes simmering food. 🍳 Dishes Needed (1) 1 Pan (Not counted) 1 bowl to eat out of 🍠 Ingredients (4.5) TBH almost all food benefits from salt - so i’m counting that as only 1/2 an ingredient. ...

🗣️ Minimal Intro Gluten-free Fish & veggies with rice, a recipe that is very forgiving with ratios. Almost any amount of each will work. ⏲️ Time to First Bite (25 mins) Takes about 25 minutes before you’re eating. ~5-10 minutes to cut up the veggies & get fish out of package, depending on how quick you are. ~10 minutes of cooking in the pan. 🍳 Dishes Needed (3) 1 Pan 1 lid for the pan 1 cutting board (Optional) pot for cooking rice, if you don’t choose to use instant microwave rice (Not counted) 1 bowl to eat out of 🍠 Ingredients (4) 🎣 some sort of white fish like Tilapia (unbreaded) 🍅 a carton of baby tomatoes 🧅 a red onion 🍚 cooked rice (Feel free to use instant rice) 🍲 Recipe Parallel: Around here you should start your rice cooker, your rice pot, or microwave your instant rice. Let it cook in parallel while you do the rest. Slice your baby tomatoes in 1/2, and then cut up 1/2 the onion into really small pieces. Heat your pan on Med-High heat with a little oil. Throw the veggies on for around 3 mins, let them cook down a bit with no top. Use your spatula/spoon to make a gap in the pan for the fish pieces, add a little more oil, and then drop them down. After 2 mins, put the lid on, and cook for another 5 mins.

🗣️ Minimal Intro Super simple - no chopping required, just take frozen fried rice, then add eggs and a veggie like shredded cabbage to extend and make it last for more meals. ⏲️ Time to First Bite (15 mins) About 15 minutes. ~10 minutes to cook the frozen fried rice & eggs. ~5 minutes grabbing ingredients and dicking around while singing along with Taylor Swift. 🍳 Dishes Needed (1) 1 Pan (Not counted) 1 bowl to eat out of 🍠 Ingredients (3) 🍚 Frozen Fried Rice (Trader Joe’s has a nice Japanese Fried Rice, but most grocery stores should have something similar.) 🥚 Eggs 🥬 Shredded Cabbage/other fresh veggie alternative (frozen can be done as well if you throw it in right away with the fried rice.) 🍲 Recipe Heat your pan on Med-High heat with a little oil. Toss the Frozen Fried rice in your plan. Add the veggies after 2-4 minutes, once it stops looking so frozen. After 3 more minutes, create an empty circle in the middle by pushing all the fried rice to the edges of the pan - then crack 2-5 eggs in the middle and let them cook.